Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Forest Poem

In The Forest A Clearing


One day after the release,
I find myself lost
in the woods, alone
among spring sprouts

poking their heads up
through compacted debris
from the dead season passed
on the forest floor.

They sway and waft
curiously in the breeze
as if trying to take a look
at me ambling by:

an outsider, in this world.

I squat low, turn my back
to a stump, blackened
from fire long ago,
ease my weight and rest.

Everything became clear.
The entire forest suddenly quiet,
every tree, branch, leaf, bud
still, motionless, settled, silent,

like a freeze had returned.
The only noise, my heartbeat,
heartfelt, pulse-rise each beat
and I realized at that moment,

eyes open, I can see
that I was alive and free
to choose the direction
of the next step I will take.

4 comments:

Maggie said...

Calder,

Thanks for stopping by to visit me from time to time. I decided to come into your neck of the woods and visit you for a spell.
:)

I like the poem, but I want you to think about this: you start out present tense but then close with past--which can work but seems ineffective with this piece as I feel the N is still wanting to be speaking present tense.

I think it would be more effective to say, "Everything becomes clear..." I also think the N tries to sum everything up too easily in the conclusion to the poem...maybe a bit too much tell there instead of show?

I like the reflective nature of the poem and the Ns introspection...definitely have something to work with here.

Calder said...

Spot on Maggie, thanks so much for the deep dive and also for visiting me here. Take care and have a great weekend!!

Peace and love!

RainforestRobin said...

I so relate to this poem after all my years in the Australian rainforest. Forests do that to us if we are STOP and open to them. You sound very open. I've been reading various poems of yours online. They are beautiful and deeply deeply heartfelt. WOW!! They slam into the chest and leave no where for the reader to go. I LIKE THAT!!! Thank you so much for sharing them.

Calder said...

Again, thanks Robin. I will be working on this again soon trying to improve it hopefully. I have a bit of a problem with it as it's not fiction so I am a bit too connected to let the poetry breathe, but I am happy you enjoyed too. Smiles!